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Does Who You Are Matter With The Clients You Attract?

A Black woman with long curly black hair, gold hoops, a nose ring, and purple lipstick stands looking at the camera. Her hands are on the lapel of her jean jacket. There are cars, an intersection, and a storefront behind her.
Photo by Clarke Sanders via Unsplash.

How do you show affection?

Do you shower the people you love with affirmations about how much you care for them?

Are you a physical person, constantly hugging and kissing on your friends and family?

Earlier this year, I learned something about myself: the way I show love is by giving gifts.

It makes sense because my mother was the same way—and a lot of other mothers and women in accounting I know.

At least in Black culture, it’s not very typical for mothers to be the kind who are constantly talking about how much they love you or care for you. To vocalize their feelings towards you. And that’s not to say they don’t!

My mother loved and continues to love me—and she showed me through gifts.

She was an entrepreneur who owned beauty salons, and it’s actually how I got introduced to accounting. I would handle the books, appointments, and make sure that customers paid their bills.

And if we had a good day at the salon, my mom would buy me a little something to show her appreciation and affection for me.

I noticed that I do this with my own kids: if they did a good job cleaning their rooms or did well on an exam at school, I’d buy them something or take them out to dinner to congratulate them.

So, I got to thinking about it. I tend to give gifts to people to show them that I love them, not understanding that I am the gift.


There’s no monetary, material gift or amount of time that I can dedicate to someone that compares to the gift that is me!

The qualities you possess, the person you are, the things that make you, you, ARE the gift!

Once you understand that, that you don’t have to bend over backward proving that you’re worth it through an extrinsic value, you won’t feel like you have to give so much of yourself to other people.

And while this realization will open up doors for women in accounting and business professional women in ALL parts of your life (career, family life, friends, everything), today I want to talk to you about one thing that it will transform in particular: your business.

When you understand that you’re the gift, you and only you, you won’t have to spend hours and hours with clients showing them that you are capable of doing what they’re asking for. You won’t have to jump through hoops to prove that you are knowledgeable. You won’t feel like you have to offer free consultations to anyone and everyone who asks for it to prove your value and expertise.

Because you know what happens when you realize that you’re the award?

  • You know yourself—and who you want to work with

  • You believe in your value and your worth

  • You start to realize that your biggest competitor is you

You know yourself—and who you want to work with

The importance of this cannot be understated. When you know that you’re the gift, this means that you know what you bring to the table. You’re well-aware of your expertise and your offering. And, very importantly, you also know which clients you want to say “yes” to.

We’ve all been there, especially as women in finance and accounting. We say “yes” to every client that lands in our inbox or calls up our phone. It’s hard to say “no” to income, I get it!